Sitting at the adult's table: some insights on trust and on being trustworthy

It all boils down to one aspect: trust

One of the most central aspects in relationships is trust. Should people consider myself trustworthy or not? If yes, then, maybe, they will consider sparing some time to listen to my ideas, to process them, to suggest corrections or to correct themselves. If not, then, maybe, we should not proceed with the discussion. 

When we sit at the table with people we do not know (which is an illustration of the process of meeting people), we all start from the common point where trust between parties is infered. It is by deepening our connections that trust is further (or not) stablished. Then, there is the sponsored trust - when people do not know each other, but know someone in common which sponsors the relation. Sponsoring trust is much is like a chain.

Trust as a chain

People who trust in you will promote you as being a trustworthy person to others. These new people will trust you and sponsor you as a trustworthy person to people they trust. 

If people is promoting you up, it is your duty, then, to promote people up. 

This cycle promotes people who are trustworthy and filter out people who are not (are not our common interactions much like that?)

Considering that I am a link in such chain, how can I be even more trustworthy?

Above all, trust is built upon the concretization of expectations

We often think that technical competence is enough to achieve success, however, the quality of your connections often determine our success (given that technical competence is trainable, why should I hire someone I do not know - someone I do not trust - when I can hire someone I know?). Competence is what sustain us in our positions, but it is not what necessarily promotes us.  If competence is not the answer, what is?

Being consistently competent

Being consistently competent is much like proudly hanging a board writen "we are open to business" at your door - it optimizes the chances of making significant relationships. Being competent enables you to build a name, and a strong name is a cue that people use to decide if trust should be given from the get-go or not. 

What should we strive for? "People trust me because I provide results, as can be seen by my history. People can confidently trust that I will solve their problem as efficiently as possible" or, being more practical: "Ok, boss, just give some time do it. I'll handle it and I'll get back to you." - a joyful breath of refreshing, spring-time, air.